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March 31 World of Warcraft NewsWe interrupt this programme for an urgent news report!
WORLD OF WARCRAFT: ONLINE FUNERAL TURNS INTO SHOCKING MASS SLAUGHTER, HORDE CITIZENS TRAUMATISED
Reported by Scherzo, Level 60 Rogue (Dragonmaw Server, US)
ILLDAN SERVER (US) -- An online funeral organized in the immensely popular MMORPG, World of Warcraft, has turned out to become one of the worst acts of online ingame terrorism in the history of... the history of Warcraft. The Alliance guilds <Serenity Now> and <GNOMELAND SECURITY> has claimed responsibility for this atrocious act of zerging the hapless horde during the memorial service.
Apparently, on Tuesday 28th of February, Fayejin, a level 60 troll mage from Illidan Server (US) suffered a stroke and passed away later that night. Until now, the direct cause of the stroke has been unconfirmed, but medical authorities suspect that it may be due to a lack of exercise as a result of Molten Core and Blackwing Lair raids. On 5.30pm server time, March 4th, an ingame memorial was organized for the guildmates and friends of Fayejin to pay their last respects.
"We will be having it at the Frostfire Hot Springs in Winterspring, because Fayejin loved snow and ingame fishing," announced Yanoa, the organizer of the Funeral and good friend of Fayejin, on the Iillidan Server Forums. This was followed by a reply from a mysterious level 1 alt, who claimed to be "planning something nice for her and are going to make a video out of it", hoping that "nobody comes to mess things up". The alt's main has yet to be identified, but authorities suspect that it may most probably be a member from <Serenity Now> trying to sound sarcastic.
The 21-man raid formed by <Serenity Now> and <GNOMELAND SECURITY> struck at approximately 5.35pm, 5 minutes into the funeral procession, killing all members from the Horde faction in sight, including Fayejin herself. The estimated death toll for the horde has risen to 53, and hundreds of gold of damages incurred due to the repair costs of their high level armour.
"You all have been added to the corpse camp list!" threatened a Tauren Warrior. "Youre f***ing trash, u r not gd enuff 2 lick the dog sh*t off from a beggars boots u f***ing degenrate sry excuses 4 mentaly retraded humans," protested an Orc Hunter in his rage.
A video hosted on Fileplanet's Servers includes footage of the actual killings, uploaded by one of <Serenity Now>'s agents, and also of the supposed mastermind of the attack cheerfully announcing that <GNOMELAND SECURITY> has successfully completed Operation "Shock and Awe". No pun intended. No, really. Further press conferences have shown that the 21 players from both guilds show no remorse whatsoever, despite making a public apology. It went something like this:
"She loved fishing and the snow... and PvP. Sorry for your loss. Yes, we know we're assholes :D" Comments (2)
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